What would you do…

…to make your best friend feel special?

I don’t even remember when I met Buku the first time. Mom says I was two and a half, and he was two, when it all began. That makes it eighteen years of friendship. We were out of touch for a few years during childhood, until about twelve years ago when we met again, and our bond has been strong ever since.

He used to come to my house to play during evenings. Most of the time, we played cricket. As can be expected, we used to fight a lot. But the very next day, we used to patch up. On the other hand, we used to share and laugh on jokes which nobody would even consider funny. That was the zing we shared.

Eventually, academics did us apart, and each moved to different cities. Unfortunately, our vacations seldom coincide, and now we meet only once a year. But those meetings are the most cherished moments all year round. We still share our childlike attitudes, and our jokes are still pretty much the same.

But this time during our summer vacations, it was a slightly different mood. We’re both growing up, and are now starting to understand the value of relationships. We really used to take our friendship for granted, but now that we’re far away from each other, we’ve started appreciating this wonderful bond between us. He made me feel special this time, and even though I tried to do the same, I don’t know if he got the message. Maybe he knows.

And when he was leaving, we hugged… for the very first time in eighteen years. To say that we’re best friends would be anything but logical, because we’re more like brothers now. Perhaps we always have been, just that we’re realizing it now.

I don’t know if you’ll read this, Buku, but if you do, let me tell you that you’re special, and that I consider myself lucky to have you as a friend.

Happy birthday, Princess

I’m writing this a couple of days after her birthday, simply because this is the poem I composed for her birthday card, which she recieved only today, and she had to be the first one to read it…

There is someone,
Before the stars fade out to the sun,
He’s awake, dreaming about you,
After the last birds have fallen asleep,
He can’t help, but think of you.

There is someone,
You’re so beautiful in his eyes,
He can lie to get to you,
You mean the world to him,
Yet he can fight the world for you.

There is someone far away,
And to you he wants to say,
Wish you a beautiful birthday.

The reason I wasn’t posting was that the card didn’t reach as planned on her birthday. Nothing could’ve been worse than the thing getting lost in transit. But thankfully, we have contact.

Drenched… again!

This time at the bank. Went there to lodge a complaint about a goof-up by the ATM. Last night, when I tried to withdraw one grand, it didn’t work. And later I realised it had actually deducted the amount from my account (how rude!). So I have officially recieved the cash. I’m impressed. Now all I can do is hope the damned thing has some kind of a record inside it.

Wasn’t in a good mood when I was leaving the bank, but seems the heavens had plans to prep me up. It all began with a slight drizzle, which is an ever-so-obvious indicator that it’s coming. Initially, I was apprehensive about it, since cycling in the rain is a more risky proposition than walking in it. But I quickly changed my mind. Almost as soon as I mounted on my bicycle (the popular campus transport), it came down pouring, and my lips couldn’t help but part.

In minutes, I was completely wet, and loving it. And now, as I type this post, there is a slight itch in my tonsils.

As if I even care.

F*** procrastination

There aren’t many instances when I’m in a self-deprecatory mood, and there are even fewer instances when I acknowledge my vices (yes, I’m a narcissist and I don’t think I have many defects, but then, even people corroborate me). But I’m one heck of a procrastinator. I procrastinate till the time it’s too late to save the day.

I’m supposed to write my internship report (a good forty pages), due Monday. But all I felt like doing is tinkering with my blog, and creating new ones (and now I have three). I’m supposed to set my hostel room in order (moved in on the 6th of July), but zilch. Hell, I’m supposed to buy a birthday card for the Princess (someone’s treated like royalty out there), and I’m even delaying that.

Infact, even as I write this post, I’m doing the same thing I’m complaining about: I’m procrastinating.

Damn, I’d do better if I get back to my report. I think I’ll do that now.

11.02 am: 30% complete. Still a long way to go. But maybe it ain’t too late.

11.38 am: Shit. This isn’t happening. My room-mate’s called up. He was away, and is coming now. One look at the room, and my guts are wrenching. And that’s because my clothes lying on his bed, my luggage is on his table, my suitcase is lying on the floor. Holy cow, I need to move things around bigtime.

11.52 am: Puff… gasp… pant. Successfully set his half of the room in order (while making an absolute mess of mine) without pulling a muscle. He hasn’t even started preparing his report, so I’m not in the worst position after all. And as an afterthought, this is my first time at live blogging.

12.26 pm: Crap. Went upstairs to find the elex (electronics) guys playing Counterstrike. Lucky people.

4.27 pm: It’s fair enough to say i’m about halfway through with the writing part, though am oblivious to what other stuff’s needed. Being a wannabe techie is no easy job.

6.02 pm: Two-thirds of the writeup is complete. But now I’m stuck. I don’t have resources for a copy-paste operation. Everybody’s busy with their own reports. Sigh…

7.31 pm: One-sixth of the writeup remains. I think I can pull it off.

12.28 am: I’m left with the drawings (an awful lot), and I need to prepare a cover page. And I need to catch some sleep. And all this before about 10 in the morning. Yawn…

I did it! I did it! I barely managed to, but in the end it came out pretty good. I drew 17 figures, which might catch the prof’s eyes (others have only drewn half a dozen). But it was the lightest too: only about 50 pages (only!). But finally I can breathe easy.

I want to cry, but…

Part I:

They say when you love a woman,
Give her wings to fly, to go her way,
But they don’t tell you what to do,
When she takes off and flies away…

Part II:

So what if you can’t see what lies ahead,
Through the night the moonlight gleams,
So keep your faith, keep pushing ahead,
It’s not always as bad as it seems…

Part III:

You remember her promise, she’ll come your way,
You wait by the winding road to catch her glimpse,
But if she takes a detour and never shows up,
Gather your soul, because it’s time to carry on…

The above three stanzas were written by me in three different states of mind: pessimistic, optimistic, and realistic. Not necessarily anything to do with my real life, though. But in recent times, I’ve been feeling everything in major proportions, be it joy, sorrow or dismay. If I want happiness, I get it, but I get pain as well. If I choose not to suffer, I wouldn’t be happy either. My classmates have been noticing that I’m either very happy or very sad.

There are times when you wish God would take care of everything. On afterthought, He’s actually doing that.

Thanks for reading another cryptic post. Sometimes, I think I should stop bugging readers (the few who actually read my thing) with such egotistic posts. But then, it’s such a release for me.

Drenched!

The last post was written sitting in the computer centre in our campus. It was overcast. I could almost feel the cool breeze which was blowing outside. But I kept myself glued to my seat, checking out my blog stats and other stuff that bloggers do to kill time (or maybe they can’t help but do all that… they’re too addicted).

Right then, it came down, pouring. I couldn’t explain it then, but I started to develop a strong urge to get drenched. So I logged off and set out towards my hostel (a good ten minutes away). Initially, I was a tad disappointed, as it wasn’t raining as hard as the colour of the clouds (dark grey) suggested it would. And then it happened. It came down cats and dogs. And my lips couldn’t help but part. People hiding inside buildings were probably staring, as I didn’t make any effort to quicken my pace. I was in no hurry to reach my destination.

It was raining so hard that after about a couple of minutes, there wasn’t a square millimetre of my body that wasn’t wet. My clothes were completely saturated. Luckily though, it was completely lull, and I was quite fine once I reached the hostel and dried myself.

It was something that I wouldn’t have done four months ago. Getting drenched in the rain used to be a very risky proposition. But I didn’t really give a damn this time. Life has been very beautiful recently, and I pray that things stay like this for good. I pray…

The last thing I learnt was…

…to trust my friends. And it was a friend of mine who taught me this lesson. Chums are the most wonderful people in your lives (unlike a soulmate who is your life), and you need to tell them how grateful you are to have pals like them. But more importantly, you need to trust them, you need to know that they are with you at all times.

Arushi had been a very good friend of mine in school. But after school, we lost touch. Blame me for that because I was the one who simply disappeared. Not only Arushi, I lost touch with all my school friends. It was only when Orkut arrived on the scene when long-lost connections were established again (a year and a half is a long time, isn’t it?).Something strange has happened to me in the recent past. I don’t seem to give a damn to those who don’t give a damn to me. What is bad is that I assume a person is cold a bit too easily. A similar case happened with Arushi. I used to chat with her a lot after discovering her on Orkut, but once or twice she put me off saying she was busy (and she really was). So I stopped sending her messages for a few days, waiting for her to get off the hook. When she didn’t send me a message for many days, I thought she was bored of talking to me, so I turned cold towards her.

Then, a few days ago, she sent me this message: still exams? I was startled. She said Google Talk was displaying my name as “Exam time” (#$@%). But I had changed my name months ago. She said she didn’t message me thinking I have exams.

“Oh, shit!” were the first words that came out of my mind at that instant. When I told her I didn’t have any exams within the next two months, she was quick to ask why I didn’t message her. One confession and one heartfelt apology, and we were back to being friends.

How much do you trust your friends?

…and the semester’s just begun

Now, I really hate this. The beginning of the semester is supposed to be light on us. We’re supposed to have some fun, watch a few movies, and be in a general, carefree mood. But that is not to be. We’re supposed to write our reports on our internship we attended endured during our summer vacations. And the deadline happens to be Friday. So will have to get into workhorse mode at a time when our batchmates from other streams have fun.

On afterthought, though, this is pre-final year, and is supposed to be the most hectic. So I think I should come to terms with the situation and shake things up.

Update: Turns out the deadline is Monday. Well, that makes it a lot better. Phew!

Why God why?

Today, when I checked my orkut scrapbook, I found a familiar message from a friend. I’d recieved the same message a handful of times before, albeit from different people. It started by chanting the name of a Hindu Goddess, and then asked the reader to post the same message to as many people as they can. If they didn’t obey, the consequences would be disastrous. When I checked my inbox, I found the same message there as well. What I wonder is, what is the point of using God to harrass people? I initially was mad at the two friends who had sent me the message, but realised it wasn’t really their fault.

Read on…

Protected: Another world

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How crazy am I?

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid || 10% Schizoid |||||||||| 38% Schizotypal |||||| 30% Antisocial |||||||||||||| 54% Borderline || 10% Histrionic |||||| 26% Narcissistic |||||||||||||||| 62% Avoidant || 10% Dependent || 10% Obsessive-Compulsive || 10%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Conclusion: It turns out I’m not that crazy after all. The only areas where I had a higher percentage that the web average were antisocial (eh?) and narcissistic (that’s better). Was quite impressed to see scores of 10%. Five of them, to be precise. Seems like they left out a certain characteristic. What say, princess?

About someone

A few lines I wrote at some point of time in the past…

she walks into my thoughts
she invades my dreams
i can’t think of anything else
and i know what this means

i’m in love with somebody
but she’ll never be mine
i’ll be happy if she stays happy
if she’s not with me, it’s fine

A point of time when I experienced unconditional feelings for someone. But as I said, this is now past, and I don’t really give it a damn anymore, because the present is so beautiful, it seems I’m in the midst of a dream.

A weird analogy

Since I shall, in all probability, become a petroleum engineer in a couple of years, oil and oil wells frequently fire up my imagination. Not surprisingly, I was able to draw a parallel between an oil well and real-life relationships. My apologies to readers, but understanding this may be slightly tough for those without a background of science.

Hello world… er, again

There I go again. Yet another blog. The last time I started a blog, I thought I’d keep it going, but circumstances prevented me from doing so.

My apologies to the readers of december. Sometimes, things simply aren’t under our control.